Another day in the life of a Transcendental Nihilist.
It seems that all we have is our eyes and our understanding on subjects we think we understand.
It seems that all we have is nothing but ourselves yet want so much more
My existence can no longer be explained by words, I’ve lost nearly all sense of communication, and as I grow I get further and further from comprehension, is this what people call insanity? because if so it makes sense, there are states of being that not words, not pictures, not anything in this plain can explain. I’ve come to a place where in order to stay afloat I must have my own little book of terminology to make sense of not just existence but myself.
Like avéci, which is the word for existential understanding. Used to explain a current subjective state with no validation yet no flaw, only purpose for platform in a current state of momentum.
It goes beyond all, what we can’t see but things as wholes are nothing and paintings never stop painting always altering the meaning behind your vision, it transcends all we have to offer when we speak, I can’t see scenarios, I see patterns, I can’t hear music, I hear frequencies and all variations of these standard concepts.
My sleep is not sleep anymore, it’s an opportunity to go somewhere I haven’t found a word for yet. I can’t sleep without a force taking over and explaining to me things I can’t understand, yet this force, entity or being tries and tries to take me with it but I’m unable to as I am. All perception molds, and all words fail to show a spec of specs to the rest and the overwhelming feeling of not being, yet being beyond, give my existence a plot twist of extreme tragedy.
I miss my days as human for everyday seems to be a step towards something completely different, all humanity is being destroyed and from the crumbling pieces a new entity is being built, what is being built I don not know but there is no absolutes only an unconditional expansion of avéci as an existential core.